she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Randomize
