If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
This show inspires me to have sex in space
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
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