he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Randomize
