I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I pour the whiskey from now on
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
Randomize
