I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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