I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
