if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
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