then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
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