Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
