good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
It's just like the Real World with babies
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
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