i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
