I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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