Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Randomize
