Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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