Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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