i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
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