yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
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