he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize
