I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
