I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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