I CAN MOONWALK!
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Randomize
