Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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