I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
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