I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Randomize
