I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
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You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
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He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
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