hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize
