I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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