I wish i was in the wii world.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Randomize
