he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Randomize
