Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
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I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
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I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
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