My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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