i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
We had to coat check the pizza.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
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