dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
