Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Randomize
