batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
How external is "for external use only"?
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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