sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
They have beer where we have blood.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Randomize
