Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
I bet he comes in French.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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