Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Randomize
