Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Randomize
