I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Can i not drive my cunt home
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
areolas are like halos for boobs.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Randomize
