She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
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