okay pat passed out under dana's car
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
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