I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
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