i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Come see our sink grown plant.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
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