she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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