I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize