Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
