maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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