Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Randomize