It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
