I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Randomize
