also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
Life without a bra equals bliss.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
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