I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
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