walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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