Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
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