i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
we made out on top of his cat.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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