i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
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