how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
